Fun with Swedish (some rude language)

So, learning Swedish has been going pretty slowly.  I can read a little and write a little (but I tend to still get word order wrong or use the wrong variant of words - mitt instead of min etc), but when I hear Swedish it all tends to blend together so even if I know the words I lose track and can't follow.

There are some interesting Swedish grammar rules (stay with me, there is some funnier stuff after the boring grammar lecture....) - I remember some French from my high school days, and one of the main things was that words have genders and the correct word to use depends on the gender - both le, and la mean 'the' for male and female for example.  Swedish doesn't quite go this far, but it has gendered words (called 'en' words) and genderless words (called 'ett' words)

The correct form of possessive words like: the, my, our, your etc depend on whether the word is an 'en' or an 'ett' word.  For example 'Dokument' is genderless so 'the document' would be 'ett dokument'.

So I keep getting it wrong and referring to min dokument - which implies that the document has a gender.

The biggest step for me to learn was the fact that the new characters - ö ä and å are actual letters in their own right and not accented letters.

Anyway, no one came to the blog to learn to read Swedish, so here I present some of the more odd things we found in Swedish:

Swedish (like German) has a lot of animal names that are created by descriptive words smashed together:

Fladdermus - Literally "Flutter Mouse":

Yep, Fladdermus means Bat

I did wonder if that meant Batman would be Fladdemus Man - Which doesnt have the same ring, but it turns out he is Läderlappen - Literally "The Leather Patch"


Flodhäst - Literally "River Horse"

Yep - it means Hippopotamus - It's like a horse that lives in the river...  Although I would pay to watch people riding hippos around a race trace...

Sköldpadda - Literally "Shield Toad"

Yep it means turtle - Teenage Mutant Ninja Sköldpadda!

Noshörning - Literally "Nose Horn"

Yep it has a horn on its nose

Grävling - Literally "Digger/Digling"

Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..

Bältdjur - Literally "Belt Animal"

At least the armadillo's pants won't fall down

Tvättbjörn - Literally Washing Bear

It's a racoon - Because apparently they wash their food.

Näbbdjur - Literally Beak-Animal

Ok so platypus is a pain to say in Swedish, but really?  And why did they need a specific word?

Åttaarmad Blackfish - Literally Eight-Armed Inkfish
I don't even need a pic for this, but its a long way to say Octopus.  A squid is an tioarmand blackfish - ten armed inkfish.

The Swedish word for Goat is "Get" and the word for kid is "Killing" - The "K" is pronounced as a "sh" sound, but it still looks interesting in a kids book:

Is that an order?

One thing the kids (ok and adults too) have found funny is the word for speed in Swedish is "Fart", which leads to some interesting words:

Fartyg - is a ship
Utfart - is an exit
Infart - is an entrance
Din fart - is Your Speed.

Then there is:

Yep it means "speed control", not some sort of cork-like item

This is a speed bump - Obviously

A few more:

Coconuts don't sound as appetizing...

This one is Danish and blurry, but I don't think a shop called "Just Junkies" would fly in Australia...

I had to read the word for "Nursery Room" a couple of times

Another odd shop - Face Fairy!

The street the kids wanted to live on

Two tasty chocolates - "Puss" means kiss - its a caramel filled chocolate, and "Japp" means "Yep" - it's like a Mars Bar

It took me a while to work up the courage to eat this one, but its another caramel filled chocolate

  

I though "We're No. 1 for your No. 2s" was a little risque - The motto (written on the toilet) is "We Know Shit", plus the toilet hulk guy is pretty scary - if that came out my toilet I'd be trying for constipation...

This kids laughed at this number plate for way longer than was sane.. Especially when the one in top left (barely visible) was "ANL", we've also seen "FUK"

 

Frogs on the road!!  Of course the word for Road is "Väg" which makes it interesting with you have "Erik's Väg" and "Private Väg" etc

So "slut" means end and "spurt" is a run - so this is like a run-out sale. Barnkläder is "Kids clothes"

   
Swedish sayings:
So we have a stack of strange sayings and proverbs in English and Swedish is no exception to that, here's just a few:

Ingen ko på isen - There is no cow on the Ice
This means don't worry.  Of course a cow on the ice could be a worry as they are pretty heavy and ice can be pretty thin, but I can say in the four months I've been here I have not seen any cows wandering around on lakes.

Nära skjuter ingen hare - A close shot will never get you the hare
This is a version of "close but no cigar" but no animals were harmed in the making of the English version

Skägget i brevlådan - Caught with your beard in the letterbox
This is the Swedish equivalent of getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

Det ligger en hund begraven- There's a dog buried here
Another Swedish cruelty to animals saying - it means that there's something strange - the English equivalent would be "There's something fishy here"

Att ana ugglor i mossen - Suspecting owls in the bog
Ok, so the Swede's have something against animals.  This means that something strange is afoot - maybe the owls are hunting for the buried dog?

Smacken är som baken, delad - Tastes like your bum, divided.
The English equivalent would be - Excuse me, friend, but I don't like the taste of this item.  Perchance could I venture that it tastes like arse?

Finns det hjärterum så finns det stjärterum - If there's room in the heart there's room for the arse
This means that a guest is welcome.  I'd always feel welcome if I was greeted by someone talking about my bum.

Gå som katten kring het gröt - To walk like a cat around hot porridge
I wonder how many Swede's have scalded their cats with hot breakfast foods...  But to tell someone not to do this, would be the Swedish equivalent of "Don't beat around the bush"

Göra en höna av en fjäder - To make a chicken out of a feather
Ok so now we are creating animals - this is the Swede version of "Don't make a mountain out of a molehill"

Ge tillbaka för gammel ost - To give back for old cheese
Nothing hurts more than being give old cheese - so this means to seek revenge.

Skita i det blå skåpet - To sh*t in the blue cupboard
If you've upset someone if you've done your business in their cupboard.   You've really pissed them off if you did it in the blue one.

För allt smör i Småland - For all the butter in Småland
Sma land is a district in Sweden, they are not really renowned for having substantial butter supplies.  "I wouldn't do that for all the tea in China" is probably the closest English one

Glida in på en räkmacka - To slide in on a shrimp sandwich
This means someone who has life easy

Ha en räv bakom örat - To have a fox behind your ear
To be cunning.  (Makes you have to ask "What does the fox say?")

Lägga en pizza - To lay down the Pizza
This is sadly literal - it means to vomit

Gift - Marriage/Poison
This word can mean both a marriage and poison..  An odd combination

Grönsaker - Vegetables
Grön is the word for green and saker means things or stuff.  So over here vegetables are literally "Green Stuff"

Tandkött - Teeth Meat
Believe it or not, but this is the word for gums.

Kackerlacka - Cockroach
This is much more fun to say.

Har du käkat taggtråd eller - Have you been eating barbed wire?
You could say this to someone who is being nasty...

The @ symbol, harmlessly called "at" in English is called a "Snabel-a" in Swedish (the a is said like ahhh, so its a sna-bell-ahh)

Well that's about it for now, I'm sure I'll be finding more as we go on.  I'll end with a couple more odd product name:

A Touch of Taste - From BONG.  This is chicken stock.

This is like "Blu-tak" nothing is stickier than Elephant's Snot

Nothing says softness for your bum, than wiping it with a lamb